خلخال

I seek you. I do not know whether I seek you out, but I seek you. Does this make sense? What is the difference then? To seek you out means from amongst a crowd.  But there are no crowds between us. Not really. It's just you and me. This is not a letter. This is a story I think, which would be easier to be told if I do not publish it under my name. I will tell it pseudonymously. But which name to use? Who am I as tell this story to paper? Should I just begin? My indecisiveness might give me away. If I do seek you out (amongst people as we've agreed) then I have sought you randomly. We have found these words between us by chance. I will begin randomly then. At any letter. T                     Tea. Trust. Tentative. Table. Tobacco. Today. Tomorrow. Talkies. I will let you choose a letter and I'll say the words. D Drama. Divine. Dinner. Drin...

                             Q. What to expect when you're not expecting?                 A. A mad desire to pull the brakes on time and change things. Tick Tock Tick Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone What will follow is the maddening rush of thoughts and memories – like you can't stop the tap from running: what I should’ve done, what I didn't do. I don't know how the hours passed – I can almost hear the clock over the TV going berserk in agony, and you pleading, no let this be 20 years from now, let it never come. Give me some time. The telephone was off. Prevent the dog from barking with the juicy bone.  Does Yoshi know? Did he lose weight because the visits stopped? I wonder sometimes if he had barked at the sudden restlessness beneath him, whether anyone heard him moan. Silence...

Rings To be gifted with such beauty, with such adoration. To be gifted with this love. I like to think of myself as a woman of  my word. Never go down without earrings. She said. It was not my word I have been breaking, it was hers. For two days now I have gone down without earrings. I never do. I was afraid my mommie would notice. My lack of adornment. If I walk quickly, she wouldn't notice what is missing between the curls. Alaa Abd El Fattah is still in jail, even though General Tantawy has declared that investigations into the massacre of Maspero at October 9 th 2o11 have been moved to Civil Prosecution. Alaa was the first who said it . We fear our mothers more than bullets. I am afraid and that is why I have not been wearing them. I fear the terror at the pit of mother's heart crawling up to blind her from anything else other than what she wants, that we stay with her, that we will not go "there". I lie. I break prom...

This is something that has come to me as a conclusion, a fact, a truth, call if what ever you wish but this is it: At Tahrir Square there is only Truth. There is no more space for doubting this and nothing angers me more than the people I meet randomly who are still questioning. So much has happened - so much beauty has come from Tahrir - that I feel we can no longer question it. Tahrir is a soul that is definitely divine and if you don't believe in divinity then it is the most beautiful of life that I have seen. What has been happening since Friday late night and the early hours of Saturday 19th of November is nothing but a betrayal to the Egyptian people, to all of them, those with the Revolution and those against it. The Supreme Council of Armed Forces (SCAF) is only continuing what Mubarak's regime has been doing for 30 years. The Ministry of Interior (MoI) has not changed its policy. For the past three days it has been killing the peaceful protesters and shooting...

مستمرين في الثورة رجعنا تاني للتحرير، عشان لسو وبرغم مرور 10 شهور على تنحي مبارك المجلس العسكري  والداخلية بيتعاملوا مع احتجاجاتنا بالدنطق نفسو، منطق العنف والسحل. بدل ما المجلس العسكري يحل مشاكل مصابيين الثورة ويوفر لذم العلاج المحترم، استخدم القوة  والأمن الدركزي لفض اعتصامهم السلمي، يعني مصابي الثورة يضربوهم بالرصاص والخرطوش في نفس  الوقت إللي مبارك والعادلي فيو بيتعالجوا على نفقة الدولة أحسن علاج وهما في سجونهم. في الحقيقة اللي بيحصل ده جزء من الثورة المضادة اللي بتتم بتدبير وتحريض وقيادة من المجلس  العسكري، فبعد ثورة قامت عشان الحرية ولقمة العيش، بقى واضح إن في مخطط لعقاب الشعب عشان  ماحدش يطالب بحقوا تاني؛  أداء الداخلية والأمن في القمع والتعذيب زي ما ىو زاد عليو حالة من الانفلات الأمني  المتعمد عشان الناس تحس بالفوضى ويبقى اللوم موجو باستمرار للثورة والثوار.  الاقتصاد لسو منحاز للأغنياء على حساب الفقرا، والأسعار مافيش نية لضبطها، يعني بدل  ما الثورة ترجع للناس حقوقها، الناس تزيد عليها الضغوط الاقتصادية ويحسوا إن الثورة جات...